06Umrah and Drawing Near to Allah

Over time, after finding peace in remembrance and glorification, the idea of Umrah began to visit me.

It had always been in my mind as a symbol of spiritual renewal and nearness to Allah, but only now did I feel ready; after everything I had been through, I knew this journey would be an important station on my path.

One evening I sat with my family and told them of my wish, and they were overjoyed and supported me with love. I prepared eagerly, feeling it would not be merely performing rites but a chance for purification and deep connection with Allah.

I began with a visit to the Prophet’s Mosque in Madinah. Standing before the green dome and seeing the Rawdah, I was filled with deep humility and calm.

I sat in the Rawdah raising my hands in supplication and sent abundant blessings upon the Prophet ﷺ: “O Allah, send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and all his companions.”

With every blessing the peace within me grew, and I carried that feeling with me as I set out for Makkah.

When I reached Makkah and saw the Ka‘bah for the first time, I felt something I had never felt before. The sight was overwhelming, and my heart filled with humility and awe; this was a moment I had long dreamed of.

I drew near with tears in my eyes and raised my hands, thanking Allah for granting me the chance to be close to Him in the holiest place on earth.

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Madinah · Prophet’s Mosque · 1 · Ihram · and intention · 2 · Tawaf · 3 · Sa‘i · 4 · Completion · and return · 5 · Figure 14

I began the tawaf, circling and supplicating, but my prayers were different this time. I did not ask only for worldly needs, but for tranquillity, and that Allah purify my heart of all that kept me from Him.

With every circuit the load I had carried for years grew lighter, and the tawaf became an inner journey in which I reordered my thoughts and priorities.

Then I performed the sa‘i between Safa and Marwah, remembering the patience and trust of Hajar, peace be upon her, and how Allah answered her and brought forth water for her in a barren desert.

I felt the sa‘i was a living embodiment of the trust I had learned: to strive with everything you have while your heart is attached to Allah.

With every step certainty filled me that Allah was with me, hearing my prayer and helping me. When I sat in the Sacred Mosque after the sa‘i, my heart felt purer, as if Allah had washed it of worldly worries.

On the night before my return I sat in my hotel room reflecting on my journey from the beginning. I remembered the moments I had been on the edge of collapse, and how Allah was always beside me, guiding me and giving me strength.

Umrah was not just a religious experience but the crowning of what I had learned in prayer, remembrance and trust, a chance for renewal and purification.

Before sleeping I prayed sincerely, a prayer full of gratitude and surrender, that Allah protect my heart from desires and whims and keep me firm on the straight path.

I returned from Umrah feeling like a new person: my soul purer and my faith stronger. I realised the journey had not only been to the Sacred House of Allah but into the depths of myself, where I found the peace I had long sought.