06Facing the Great Challenges

Despite all my progress, life, as usual, brought a challenge I had not expected. I knew balance does not mean the end of challenges, but I was not fully prepared for what happened.

One day my phone rang. On the other end was my brother, his voice full of worry: someone very close to our family had been in a serious accident and was in critical condition. The words fell like sudden rain, fear flooded my heart, and I felt the ground collapse beneath my feet.

My emotions escalated quickly from shock to fear to grief, yet despite their intensity I was aware that I had to stay composed. This was the real test of everything I had learned.

Emotion Regulation in a Crisis

Instead of letting the emotions push me into collapse, I applied my crisis skills. I took a deep breath and focused on the present moment; I could not change what had happened, but I could control how I responded.

I used radical acceptance: instead of resisting and denying reality, I accepted the situation as it was, however painful.

I sat quietly for a few minutes focusing on my breath, remembering that life holds things we cannot control.

Those moments restored some balance and reminded me that stability does not mean the absence of pain, but the ability to deal with it flexibly. I found the deepest meaning of this acceptance in contentment with Allah’s decree: I do what I can, and surrender to Allah what I cannot.

Facing Intense Feelings

As the days went by, sadness and grief deepened; I felt weak and grief filled every part of my life. I practised self-soothing skills: finding ways to calm myself physically and emotionally in hard moments.

On a day when the sadness was especially heavy I walked in the park, and the fresh air and birdsong helped me calm down a little.

I also used CBT to challenge thoughts like “I won’t get through this” and “Life has lost its meaning,” pausing to ask: “Are these thoughts true?” Real pain does not necessarily mean life has lost its meaning.

Social Support

I relied on myself most of the time, but I realised social support is essential in hard times and that asking for help is not weakness but part of facing a crisis. I reached out to close friends and family and talked with my brother about my feelings and how I was coping.

I was not looking for solutions, just someone to listen and understand, and it made me feel I was not alone in this battle.

Learning from Pain

Over the weeks I realised this crisis, despite its pain, had taught me something new about myself: real strength is not in avoiding pain but in dealing with it with flexibility and patience.

I learned that emotional balance does not mean permanent peace, but the ability to face pain without collapsing and to keep hope for tomorrow alive even in the darkest moments.

I was no longer the person I had been at the start of the story. I had been through an experience that changed my life, but it taught me a great deal; I was more aware of my emotional capacities and better able to face what might come.

I sat on my balcony again watching the sky take on the colours of sunset.

The pain had not completely gone, but I had learned to live with it. That challenge was the beginning of a new chapter in my life, full of hope and strength, and of a deep belief that emotional balance is not a fixed state but a continuous journey.

﴿ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ ۝ الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ ﴾

“And give good tidings to the patient, who, when disaster strikes them, say: Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.” (2:155–156)