3Rima and the Silence

In a noisy city full of towers and crowds, Rima lived in a quiet flat, but she lived with a strange silence inside her. She sensed others’ needs and rushed to help them, but when it came to her own wishes, she fell silent.

Closing off. Her days became alike. At work she agreed to extra tasks even at the expense of her own duties and time. Friends asked for her help at the last minute, and she dropped her plans and rushed to them. Her silence was taken as agreement.

“It’s all right to say “no”. Your feelings and needs matter a great deal.”

Giving in. Over the weeks things got worse. Whenever there was a disagreement she gave in at once without standing up for herself, until her spark dimmed and her voice drowned in other people’s wishes.

Her friend Maya noticed the change and asked, “Rima, why don’t you ever speak up for yourself?” Rima said, tears in her eyes, “I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.”

Exhaustion. After suppressing her feelings and needs for so long, she was struck by mental and physical exhaustion, and began withdrawing from her responsibilities and from the people she loved.

Maya sat with her and said, “It’s all right to say ‘no’. It’s all right to put yourself forward. Your feelings, needs and wishes matter a great deal.”

With Maya’s support, Rima began sessions with a therapist. She learned how to find her voice, and understood the importance of caring for herself. Little by little she began setting boundaries, expressing her needs, and realising it was all right to put herself first.

It was not easy, but in time Rima found her balance. She knew her sensitivity to others’ needs was a gift, but she must not lose herself along the way.