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Amen Cards · When fear deceives us

Self & Spirit · Set 20 of 20

Amen Cards

When fear deceives us

When fear deceives us: cards to calm down, test your thoughts, and come back to life.

15cards
3min read

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  1. Don't send it while you're angry. Save the message in your drafts, and read it in the morning before you decide. No angry message at two in the morning.
  2. Calm your body first. Wash your face with very cold water, and hold your breath for a moment. When fear runs high, words don't help.
  3. Breathe out longer than you breathe in. Breathe in for a count of four, and out for six. Do it five times. A long breath out tells your body it is safe.
  4. Give your anger a number. Before any decision, ask yourself: how angry am I now, out of ten? Tonight we want to calm down, not to change our minds.
  5. A thought is a passing car. Stand on the pavement, and watch your thoughts go by without getting into any of them. You don't have to get into every car.
  6. Say: I'm having the thought that… Put a thought that scares you into these words, and notice the distance. You are not your thoughts.
  7. What you saw, and what fear added. Write what actually happened on one line, and what your fear made of it on another. Not every thought is a fact.
  8. Hear both sides before you judge. Split the page into two columns: what supports the thought, and what goes against it. You are the judge, not the fear.
  9. The wall keeps the fear alive. Write down a habit you use to protect yourself from something that hasn't happened. What looks like protection may be a chain.
  10. Try it, and see what happens. Agree a small step with your doctor, and write down what you expect before you take it. The mind believes what it tries more than what it hears.
  11. What is broken can be mended. Apologise sincerely: what happened, what you felt, what you are asking for, then listen. One honest word can mend a whole bridge.
  12. Agree on one question. Ask someone you love for one question to alert you when you're struggling: “Did you sleep well?” Those who love you need a simple agreement, not a long explanation.
  13. Write your plan before you need it. Write down your early signs, what you will do, and who you will call. A thought coming back is not a failure.
  14. Your mind is a sensitive smoke alarm. When it goes off, say: that's one of its alarms, and I choose what I do. Don't smash the alarm, and don't believe every ring.
  15. What matters to you? If fear weren't leading you, how would you want to live? Write down three things. The thoughts may come back, but they can't stop you getting there.
Write down a thought that scares you and keeps coming back. What did you actually see with your own eyes? What did fear add? And who can you tell? These cards do not replace a doctor or treatment. If thoughts push anyone towards harming themselves or others, get help straight away.